Hello and Welcome! Thanks for making it to my first blog post. My name is Paige Bond. I provide Relationship Therapy and Coaching to Individuals, Couples, and Polyamory-Identified relationships seeking to enhance their current relationship or heal from one that has ended.
It's always so hard to think about what the first blog post is supposed to be. I've had so many thoughts of “Will it be interesting enough?” “What if I say the wrong thing?” and so on. The truth is, at this point, the topic for the first post chose me and I think it came at a spectacular time.
Around this time of year we may find ourselves slacking in taking care of ourselves whether it be physically, socially, and financially (the list does go on though). I found that I may have missed the mark in taking care of myself when I ended up severely ill last week-to which my stubbornness of not taking care of myself could have made it worse. So here are some tips to learn from my mistakes!
Check in with your body
What do I mean by this? Listen to it. How is your heart rate doing? Do you feel any tightness in your chest area or throat? Sometimes we find ourselves holding our breaths or engaging in shallow breathing when stressed.
Quick Tip: The 4-7-8 rule.
Breathe in for 4 counts.
Hold Breath for 7 counts.
Exhale for 8 counts.
Repeat this a few times and you'll notice that your heart rate has decreased and you feel more energized due to more oxygen entering your body.
Learn how to say no
Often times we overextend ourselves in order to please everyone and “make sure everybody's okay.” This is the season for it and giving does help us feel good internally, but there is definitely a line that can be crossed at times which hurts ourselves at the expense of helping others.
Quick Tip: Use “I statements” to learn assertiveness.
In using I Statements, the speaker takes responsibility for their feelings without blaming others, and clearly describes their own needs. I've attached a worksheet here for extra guidance.
Think twice before buying
You among millions of other humans in this world may find that your wallet is especially strapped this month. Again, we want to please others and make others happy and we end up spending money on things we cannot actually afford. This is a huge crisis I see with my Millennial-Aged clients as they try to find balance between paying off debt and enjoying life.
Quick Tip: Try thinking twice about buying something. See if you can put it off and feel if the passion between you and that product is still there days or even a week later. If it's not, it wasn't meant to be and you just saved yourself some $$!
Bonus Quick Tip: Even though it's the season of giving, it's also the season of spending time with loved ones. As I get older myself, there is nothing more valuable that I can give someone than my time. It is truly priceless. So next time you think your mother needs that Kitchen-Aid Mixer, you may be surprised that all they want for the holidays is your presence and not your presents ;)
I can go so much deeper than those three areas of self-care that we are lacking in around this time of year but I'll keep it short and sweet this time.
I hope you found these tips helpful and you are able to spend your time with loved ones this week. And if you find yourself struggling at this time, please do not hesitate to call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.
Remember to take your self-care seriously and talk soon!