Red flags to look out for when dating

Dating can be a thrilling and exciting journey filled with new experiences, emotions, and adventures. However, not all people we meet are trustworthy, kind, and compatible with us. In order to avoid disappointment, heartbreak, and emotional trauma, it’s essential to know what red flags to look out for when dating. These warning signs may indicate deeper issues and incompatibilities in the relationship, which could lead to a breakdown in the future.

Look out for these red flags when dating

Making and maintaining connections with other people is crucial. To maintain a healthy state of mind, it helps to feel loved and connected to others. However, not every relationship improves our life. Some of our connections just do not serve us well. Instead of improving our condition, they make it worse. It’s crucial to know the warning signs because some of them can be downright poisonous.

Don’t let yourself be blinded during the honeymoon phase of your new relationship but keep your eyes open and know what red flags to look out for when dating.

Unfortunately, there are others who come to view warning signs, like red flags, as merely “part of the package” rather than as early indicators of potential danger. They end up opening themselves up to being hurt psychologically, emotionally, and even physically. To help you avoid this happening to you, we’ve consulted an experienced couple’s counselor, and here are red flags to look out for when dating. After all, only by knowing what to look for and why something is toxic can you stop it before it does too much harm.

#1 Communication issues

It goes without saying that good communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship. However, if your partner is evasive, doesn’t listen to you, or refuses to express their own thoughts and feelings, it may indicate a lack of trust and emotional intimacy. Additionally, avoid partners who play games, keep secrets, or ignore your attempts to communicate. Such behavior can lead to misunderstandings, conflicts, and a feeling of emotional distance. If they’re not willing to work on communicating better they’re not worth the trouble.

#2 Controlling behavior

Another red flag is controlling behavior. A controlling partner may try to limit your freedom, dictate your actions, or manipulate you into doing things you don’t want to do. This behavior can take various forms, such as jealousy, possessiveness, micromanaging, or even physical or emotional abuse. If you feel that your partner is trying to control you, it’s essential to take it seriously and address it promptly.

#3 Inconsistency

Inconsistency can be another red flag in dating. If your partner’s actions and words don’t match, it can indicate dishonesty, lack of commitment, or deeper emotional issues. For example, partners who make promises they don’t keep, change their minds frequently, or have a pattern of letting you down are probably not the best choice for a stable and healthy long-term relationship. Therefore, take promises with a reserve and make sure they’re backed up with actions.

#4 Lack of emotional availability

Keep in mind that a partner who is emotionally unavailable is not capable of forming a healthy and intimate relationship. If your partner avoids talking about their feelings, pushes you away when you try to get close, or doesn’t seem to care about your emotional needs, it’s a warning sign. An emotionally unavailable partner may have unresolved trauma, past experiences, or other personal issues that prevent them from fully committing to a relationship. However, if they are not willing to work on resolving those problems, your best bet is to leave.

Couple sitting on a couch upset with each other to represent red flags to look out for when dating in Essex, VT. Poly Therapist Paige Bond in 05451

If your partner is emotionally unavailable and doesn’t want to do anything about, it’s probably best for you to move on.

#5 Disregard for boundaries

Boundaries are an essential aspect of any healthy relationship, and if your partner disregards your boundaries, it shows a lack of respect for you and your needs. For example, partners who invade your personal space, ignore your requests, or try to control you may have trouble respecting your independence and individuality. Even if those “little things” don’t bother you or you even find them adorable now, they could cause issues down the road and eventually lead you to a lot of stress and heartache.

#6 Substance abuse

If your partner is using illegal substances, take it as a major warning sign. It’s a sign that the individual has issues with self-destructive behaviors and impulse control. Addiction can quickly poison any relationship, regardless of the substance involved. However, it can sometimes be difficult to recognize a person struggling with substance abuse, especially if you don’t know what the warning signs of addiction are. That’s why it’s crucial to be aware of some signs and immediately talk to your partner about them. The longer you wait, the worse it can get for both of you.

#7 Insecurity

Insecurity can also be a red flag in dating. If your partner is overly possessive, jealous, or paranoid, it may indicate low self-esteem, emotional immaturity, or past traumas. Insecurity can lead to controlling behavior, conflicts, and a feeling of emotional suffocation.

#8 Negative attitude

A negative attitude is another red flag in dating. If your partner is constantly critical, judgmental, unhappy, or even mean, it can have a toxic impact on the relationship and even negatively impact your mental health. Avoid partners who bring you down, make you feel bad about yourself, make the dating experience unpleasant, or can’t stop thinking about the worst scenario. A negative attitude may indicate low self-esteem, emotional instability, or a lack of empathy.

#9 Financial irresponsibility

Financial irresponsibility can also be a red flag in dating. If your partner is irresponsible with money, incurs high debts, or has a tendency to overspend, it may indicate a lack of discipline, maturity, and financial stability. Financial issues are almost sure to cause stress, conflicts, and a feeling of insecurity further down in your relationship.

Black couple attempting to resolve conflict in the kitchen. They will make a call to an online couples therapist Paige Bond in VT

Financial issues might not come up at first, but if your relationship becomes serious, they will almost certainly show up sooner or later.

Additionally, therapy can be helpful in addressing any underlying emotional issues that may be impacting the relationship. Remember, seeking professional help is not a sign of weakness. It’s an indication of a desire to improve the relationship, make it stronger, and, most importantly, a genuine love you have for each other.

Wrapping up

Dating can be a fun and rewarding experience, but it’s essential to keep your eyes open and be aware of what red flags to look out for when dating that may cause deeper problems down the road. By paying attention to the warning signs, you can protect yourself from heartbreak, disappointment, and emotional trauma.

Remember, a healthy relationship requires mutual respect, trust, and emotional intimacy. If you encounter any of these red flags, it’s essential to address them promptly and communicate openly and honestly with your partner. If the relationship is not fulfilling or you feel unsupported, it may be time to reassess and consider whether it’s the right fit for you. And don’t forget to trust your instincts and listen to your inner voice.

Paige Bond

Paige Bond is an open relationship coach who specializes in helping individuals, couples, and ethically non-monogamous relationships with feeling insecure in their relationships. She is also the founder of Couples Counseling of Central Florida, the host of the Stubborn Love podcast, and the creator of the Jealousy to Joy Journey to help people pleasing millennials navigate non-monogamy.

Check out how to work with Paige.

https://www.paigebond.com
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