What to Do If You’re Feeling Lonely in Your Marriage

To feel lonely, you don’t actually have to be alone. Sometimes, being in a committed relationship may seem like the answer to loneliness, but it’s not. You can be married and still feel lonely at the end of the day. Moreover, even when you’re spending a lot of time with your spouse, this still isn’t a guarantee you won’t feel lonely in their presence. And these feelings aren’t all benign.

These feelings can often make you feel unwanted and unfulfilled, even when you’re next to your life partner. So, what can you do if you’re feeling lonely in your marriage? Can you fix it? Find out the answers to these questions in the rest of the article.

Signs You’re Feeling Lonely

Loneliness cannot be cured by simply sharing your home with someone. In the end, only your sense of connection with your partner can prevent you from feeling alone and lonely in your relationship. Some indicators that you could be feeling lonely in your marriage are:

● Even though you are together, you still feel lonely. You feel as though there is a rift between you that you are unable to bridge.

● You don’t communicate with one another. You think that your partner isn’t listening to you when you speak. Or, perhaps, you simply don’t feel like informing them about your day’s highlights. Needing to work on communication is one of the first signs something isn’t quite right.

● You come up with excuses to avoid your partner. This might be staying at work past your standard closing time, finding activities to keep you away from your spouse, or skimming social media to avoid connecting with them.

● You have sex infrequently or never. Your relationship also lacks physical intimacy in addition to emotional connection.

● One of you suffers from a hidden or well-known addiction. Sometimes it’s easier to overlook the obvious signs or find excuses to indulge in a bit of alcohol or some other substance. And one of the main contributors to this feeling is often loneliness, whatever you’re doing, it’s because you feel lonely or the act itself makes you feel estranged from your partner. Therefore, consider a couples rehab where you can find the necessary support of counselors and therapists.

How to Deal With a Feeling of Loneliness in Your Marriage

It’s challenging to feel lonely in a marriage, but there are many possible strategies to modify how you feel. These include discussing it with your partner, spending more time together, collaborating on communication and shared objectives, and so on.

Talk It Out

It sounds cheesy, but it’s true: communication is the key to everything. Don’t avoid conversations. Even when they’re tough, they can be the way to happiness. It might be necessary to chat and explain what can make you feel less lonely if you’re already experiencing loneliness in your marriage.

In a healthy relationship, speaking out and being honest with your spouse is crucial, but listening to what they say and trying to understand their viewpoint is vital. It’s best to ease into these talks whenever possible. Blame will only result in conflicts and less understanding. To help the other person concentrate more on these areas, it is a good idea to talk about the things they are doing that make you feel loved.

Determine The Causes of The Changes in Your Marriage

It’s critical to reflect on the past and consider trends, communication methods, and potential adjustments. Perhaps you started working together at home, moved, or made drastic changes to your daily routine. It might be challenging to nail down the precise time when things changed, but it can be helpful to consider habits and lifestyle changes that may have had an impact on the marriage.

Schedule Weekly Dates

You may feel closer to your spouse by scheduling a romantic evening, going to bed at the exact same time, and talking about your day and exchanging experiences. The reasoning behind this is simple. There isn’t much place for loneliness in a marriage when partners do pleasurable activities together regularly. That way, the bond between you stays strong. When you schedule weekly dates, you both have something to look forward to each week.

While some people think this isn’t romantic, it’s much better than leaving things like this up to chance. Scheduling time with your spouse can help you both feel more relaxed about it and bring you closer than ever.

It could also be beneficial to restrict your usage of social media. According to studies, frequent social media usage may heighten feelings of loneliness and isolation. It could also lead to irrational expectations for your union. It’s possible that viewing filtered highlights of other people’s relationships and lives will make you feel less optimistic about your own.

Think of The Little Things

You might think that it would take a grand gesture straight out of a rom-com to make your marriage better to stop feeling lonely. This is not true. You can tell each other that you care about each other when you consistently do small things for each other.

Simple acts of love include making the bed, filling up their water bottle, bringing them a cup of coffee, etc. Over time, these small acts of kindness can build up to significant expressions of love.

Be Yourself

By engaging in mindfulness exercises, you may learn to recognize whether you’re performing a part in your relationship or being you. This is especially beneficial since it fosters genuine connections with individuals. Making sincere and rewarding relationships with others is more likely when you can be yourself among people. Making oneself open to vulnerability and letting someone in gives you power. You become more powerful, at ease, connected, and even grounded when you see the “true” you.

Final Thoughts

It isn’t easy to admit that you’re feeling lonely in your marriage. It takes a lot of bravery and self-reflection. However, once you do it and are determined to do something about it, it can substantially impact your life. By investing more time and effort into your relationship, you can create a stronger bond between you. Moreover, by talking it out and hearing both sides, you may not feel as lonely at the end of the day.

Paige Bond

Paige Bond is an open relationship coach who specializes in helping individuals, couples, and ethically non-monogamous relationships with feeling insecure in their relationships. She is also the founder of Couples Counseling of Central Florida, the host of the Stubborn Love podcast, and the creator of the Jealousy to Joy Journey to help people pleasing millennials navigate non-monogamy.

Check out how to work with Paige.

https://www.paigebond.com
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