Empowering Women's Health: Inside the movie 'Lady Parts'
Show Notes
Lady Parts is a dramedy feature film where a young woman's sex life becomes a family affair when she has to undergo a vulvar vestibulectomy. Her loving, but overbearing parents help her through recovery (despite her cringing) and learn that saying "vagina" loud and proud is the first step to advocating for herself in all aspects of her life.
In this special episode of the Stubborn Love Podcast, the team behind the film 'Lady Parts' joins to discuss the inspiration, creation, and societal impacts of their movie. Writer and Executive Producer Bonnie Gross, Director Nancy Boyd, and Producer Meghan Griesbeck share personal experiences with conditions like vulvar vestibulitis and vaginismus, and emphasize the need for open discussions about women's health.
They highlight the role of educational systems, the importance of supportive family dynamics, and the advocacy work being done to de-stigmatize vaginal health. The filmmakers also discuss organizations providing valuable resources and support for those affected. Their goal is to get the film in front of as many people as possible, sparking important conversations and cultural change around women's health issues.
01:14 Inspiration Behind Lady Parts
02:26 Understanding Vulvar Vestibulitis and Vaginismus
05:50 Challenges in the Medical Community
09:42 The Importance of Family Support
13:32 Advocacy and Resources
Connect with Lady Parts
IMDB - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt21423506/
IG - https://www.instagram.com/ladyparts_film/
FB - https://www.facebook.com/ladypartsthemovie
TT - https://www.tiktok.com/@shake_ur_bonbon
X - https://twitter.com/lady_parts_film
Resources mentioned
Tight Lipped https://www.tightlipped.org/
Intimate Rose https://www.intimaterose.com/
The Pelvic People https://thepelvicpeople.com/
Hello Gina https://ginaapp.com/
Connect with Paige Bond
Instagram: @paigebondcoaching
Facebook: @paigebondcoaching
TikTok: @paigebondcoaching
Website: https://paigebond.com
Paige Bond hosts the Stubborn Love podcast, is a Licensed Marriage Therapist, and a Polyamory Relationship Coach. Her mission is to help people-pleasing millennials navigate non-monogamy so they can tame their jealousy and love with ease. Her own journey from feeling lonely, insecure, and jealous to feeling empowered and reassured is what fuels her passion to help other people-pleasers to conquer jealousy and embrace love.
Free Jealousy Workbook:
http://www.paigebond.com/calm-the-chaos-jealousy-workbook-download
Free People Pleasing Workbook:
https://www.paigebond.com/people-pleasing-workbook
Disclaimer: This podcast and communication through our email are not meant to serve as professional advice or therapy. If you are in need of mental health support, you are encouraged to connect with a licensed mental health professional to receive the support needed.
Mental Health Resources: National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255SAMHSA’s National Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 for free, 24/7 crisis counseling.
Intro music by Coma-Media on pixabay.com
Transcript
(generated by AI - please excuse errors)
[00:00:42] Paige Bond, Relationship Expert: Alright, well this is a first for an episode of the Stubborn Love Podcast. we have these lovely people from Lady Parts. Uh, can I have everybody introduce themselves and we'll go one by one on what your part is in the movie and we'll take it from there. Yeah.
Meet the Team Behind Lady Parts
[00:01:01] Bonnie Gross, Writer and Executive Producer of Lady Parts: Hi, my name is Bonnie Gross and I'm the writer and executive producer of Lady Parts.
[00:01:07] Nancy Boyd, Writer and Director of Lady Parts: Hi, my name is Nancy Boyd and I am the director.
[00:01:09] Maegen Griesbeck: My name is Megan Griesbeck and I'm the producer of Lady Parts.
[00:01:13] Paige Bond, Relationship Expert: Beautiful, beautiful.
Inspiration Behind Lady Parts
[00:01:14] Paige Bond, Relationship Expert: Alright, so, first question, what is the inspiration for making this movie?
[00:01:21] Bonnie Gross, Writer and Executive Producer of Lady Parts: Yeah. Go Bonnie. So, um, This is actually based off my own true personal story. Um, and it really came from a place of, you know, after getting a vulvar vestibulectomy myself, coming off of it and being, feeling so isolated and alone and not having that connection. And not being able to find any resources and kind of sitting there and being like, Why is there no media about this?
And so it really stemmed from a place of wanting to empower other people, wanting to form connection with other people, and you know, knowing that we should be able to talk about our bodies and we should be able to feel comfortable with talking about them.
[00:01:59] Nancy Boyd, Writer and Director of Lady Parts: Oh yes. That was the thing too because uh, Megan connected Bonnie and I together because Bonnie was writing a story about vulvar vestibulitis and vaginismus, and was looking for a director, Megan was like, my friend also has a broken vagina.
Yes. Um,
[00:02:16] Maegen Griesbeck: you guys should talk. You guys should talk. Yeah, so Nancy, why don't you give a little, like, logline into what Lady Parts is? Yeah, sure. How it follows Paige's story.
Understanding Vulvar Vestibulitis and Vaginismus
[00:02:26] Nancy Boyd, Writer and Director of Lady Parts: So, uh, Lady Parts, This is about this young woman named Paige who has vulvar vestibulitis and vaginismus. So she has to undergo, um, vaginal surgery to basically get control of her life and gain agency.
She has to go back home to her parents parents house and, uh, kind of relive her childhood and do it right this time and, and, uh, patch her relationships while she heals her vulva.
[00:02:58] Paige Bond, Relationship Expert: Now, for listeners who may not be familiar with the term vulvar vestibulitis, as that is a mouthful, um, pun intended. Um, could you explain maybe a gist of like, maybe how we could explain this even to the young population of people up and coming and becoming women.
[00:03:18] Bonnie Gross, Writer and Executive Producer of Lady Parts: Absolutely. So, um, vulvodynia is sort of a blanket term for vulvar pain. And, um, vulvar vestibulitis specifically talks to To the opening of, um, the v the vagina. So think of it like the doorway is like the way I like to say it, like that er little area. But, um, I think really Nia in a nutshell is feeling a burning or stabbing sensation anywhere in the vulva area.
It could feel almost like a knife or a hot poker type of sensation. Mm-Hmm. . And then I know, um, me and Nancy both have vaginismus. Yeah. Um, if you wanna
[00:03:56] Nancy Boyd, Writer and Director of Lady Parts: Yeah. Vaginal background is, um. Basically the involuntary, um, like, tensing, clenching of your muscles, essentially, in the vagina. So when something is trying to be inserted in there, a lot of times it just will not happen.
Um, or you get a lot of pain when it's happening, or both. and that can be from fingers, or medical instruments, or a sex toy, or a penis. Anything that is trying to get in there, um, can have a very hard time. I'm doing that. Yes. Um, and you're so right saying that we need to be able to talk about our bodies to like younger generations too, because I started having problems once I got my period when I was 12 and I didn't know what was wrong with me or if I was just putting it in wrong or I was scared of tampons or what, and I was like, yeah, you're so right.
I'm scared because you're in pain.
[00:04:51] Bonnie Gross, Writer and Executive Producer of Lady Parts: Yeah.
[00:04:51] Nancy Boyd, Writer and Director of Lady Parts: That's why.
[00:04:52] Bonnie Gross, Writer and Executive Producer of Lady Parts: And, I think for me, like, Nancy was the first person I met who also had vaginismus, and I remember, like, talking about that tampon experience specifically, because I know you have a very similar story. When I was 13, my mom was trying to, like, show me how to use a tampon, and I, and like, it's just, like, it, it, the validation of, like, being able to see, like, another person maybe going through that, or knowing your, like, body is normal, and this is something, and it has a term behind it.
There's so much value. Ah, validation behind that. And that's so important. And visibility is so important. Mm-Hmm.
[00:05:27] Nancy Boyd, Writer and Director of Lady Parts: being able to talk about these things is important. It's not dirty, it's not shameful. Mm-Hmm. . It's something that we should all be able to talk about. And like, even if it's not VA or Nia, like talking about endometriosis Yes.
And things like that. If the women in our life are more comfortable talking about that, we're more comfortable being able to seek help for it and knowing answers. Right. Mm-Hmm. . Absolutely.
Challenges in the Medical Community
[00:05:50] Paige Bond, Relationship Expert: What do you think the medical community needs to improve on, because there were some really great parts of the movie where it was noted that there were multiple specialists that we can run through and still not get the problem solved.
So like, what do you think is still needed to be done to start shifting the way of actually making some good progress here with this issue?
[00:06:10] Bonnie Gross, Writer and Executive Producer of Lady Parts: Yeah, there's um, there's a lot. Um, it's like, how long do we have, but um. But I think like it comes down to really a few main things and for me, it really comes down to the education system and making sure that, you know, we're starting from the bottom to the top and the top from the bottom and making sure that when you go see care, it's not only affordable and accessible, but also like we need a systemic change as well because you need to be able to go see a doctor that now fits in your insurance model, is in your geographic region and Somehow knows about this specialty and has this specialized education which isn't included in OBGYN residency programs as of now in the U.S. And um, so I feel like it's, it's going to take a long time to get to where it should be, but it should be like breaking your arm. You should be able to go to a doctor, get it fixed up, and talk about it, and you know, it's normal.
[00:07:08] Nancy Boyd, Writer and Director of Lady Parts: It's hard because like, There's not a lot of testing about things, especially issues that primarily women have.
Or like, even just thinking about pads and tampons in commercials and like, testing things. Um, it wasn't until very recently that they started testing with blood instead of water. And the reason that your tampons and pants are not as good is because they've been using water and not blood. Um, which is not what comes out of us.
[00:07:36] Bonnie Gross, Writer and Executive Producer of Lady Parts: Yeah. And, um, and yeah, I think you hit a nail on the head. There's not a lot of research and we just feel like so much shame talking about it that like a lot of people I feel like don't even seek help or care for it because there's so much of a stigma surrounding it.
[00:07:50] Maegen Griesbeck: And I think that that's like a huge part of like why we created Lady Parts because even if you are comfortable with your best friend or with your mom or with your sister to talk about these things, Without having the understanding or the knowledge that that is not right, like, your cramp should not make you pass out.
There's something wrong there. You should be able to put a tampon in. If you can't, then there's something wrong, like, the, the conversation around it is one thing, um, and a great thing, but to not have the knowledge or understanding amongst women themselves, that that's not supposed to be, that's, Being in pain or uncomfortable because of something that you're supposed to be doing every month or every day, that's not normal and we shouldn't be, we shouldn't be continuing to normalize it.
We should be under the understanding that that's not how it's supposed to be and we should always ask for help. Because I think that that, you know, the shame goes into it, but I think a lot of it is that women have been medically gaslit our entire lives to think that like, all of these things just happen and we have to put up with it.
with it, um, or that it's normal or you'll grow out of it, or, you know,
[00:08:54] Nancy Boyd, Writer and Director of Lady Parts: sex can be painful. It's fine.
[00:08:56] Maegen Griesbeck: Yeah. It's fine. And, um, I think that once we understand that that's not the case and we can all kind of take a better, find and gain agency of our own body too, is, will be helpful for all of us. Yeah. And that's the only way that we can truly change the medical system is by finding it within ourselves.
to then push for it above us as well.
[00:09:17] Nancy Boyd, Writer and Director of Lady Parts: Yeah. I think that's the reason why we made a movie instead of just like a pamphlet. Is because it's not just, uh, It's the culture that needs to change, so we're gonna do something cultural.
[00:09:28] Bonnie Gross, Writer and Executive Producer of Lady Parts: Yeah. Right? And the thing is, you know, you could come to this screening and hopefully someone could show this to their mom, to their sister, to their partner, whoever that person is, and they can watch this movie.
movie together and then have a conversation after which is so powerful.
The Importance of Family Support
[00:09:42] Paige Bond, Relationship Expert: That's something I thought was really special at the, seeing the movie, the parents being portrayed as such supportive people and, I mean, I'm in my 30s, I'd be like, why would you show up to this appointment? I wouldn't ask you, right?
But then for them to actually be there and like hold their hand and just say, we've got you, like we're doing this. It's just really different than I think what a lot of people are maybe even used to or that they know could be possible. So I thought that was just a really beautiful portrayal of like, healthy family support.
[00:10:14] Nancy Boyd, Writer and Director of Lady Parts: Yay!
[00:10:14] Maegen Griesbeck: Totally. Yay! I think, Bonnie, like, I think that you are, you know, as this is based on your life, I think that you are truly blessed in that regard. Absolutely. Even like here this week at the festival, they've been so like, this is true, this doctor only exists here, what we did, like there's so much you're advocate, um, and I think that at the very minimum, every single person can gain from this movie that an understanding of family dynamics and how, what a healthy one looks like.
Um, and that family doesn't always have to be conflict. It can be external that then is helpful when all internal family dynamics are working healthily and properly.
[00:10:54] Bonnie Gross, Writer and Executive Producer of Lady Parts: Yes, um, and I am so excited. I am so fortunate and blessed and lucky to have the parents that I have. I absolutely adore them and I love them and I thank them for their support constantly.
Um, and I think to Megan's point, it was very important to show that at the end of the day, just because this body part where it's located on my body, just be, I'm in pain and I'm your daughter, or I'm your offspring. Like, you should care that I'm in pain. It does not matter where it is in my body. Um, as a parent, you should care that your child's in pain.
And, um, that was That's kind of really what I wanted to drive home about this.
[00:11:29] Paige Bond, Relationship Expert: Yeah. I thought you did. and I, I really love that part of it. One other last thing that I was thinking about in the movie, just as an overarching theme, you really drove the point home on how life shifting that this is. like having to move all the way back across from country, have a surgery, the recovery time, like this is a really impactful thing on someone's life, which a lot of people are just like, usually if they're just.
Dismissive of, doctors are like dismissive of, jobs are dismissive of. What do you think needs to happen for us to start shifting and, and gearing towards making space for healing in something that's so, um, impactful in someone's life?.
[00:12:10] Nancy Boyd, Writer and Director of Lady Parts: Yeah.
[00:12:12] Bonnie Gross, Writer and Executive Producer of Lady Parts: I think there's a lot that there's a lot that needs to happen, but especially the way we are right now, you know, society is the way it is. We were constantly on the go, go, go, go. And we don't really give ourselves space to heal. I feel like even when we get a surgery, it's constantly like, when can I get right back to normal?
to work. When can I get right back into my life? And we don't really take that time to like heal all the wounds, not just, you know, the physical ones, but the emotional ones and the mental ones. And I just feel like there's a lot of toll that it takes and like making sure you have a support system in place, you know, whether that be people surrounding yourselves, whether you set yourself up to break, you know, surround yourself with things you love or, you know, Doing something for self care, um, is just as important.
[00:12:56] Nancy Boyd, Writer and Director of Lady Parts: Yeah. And I feel like, like Paige in the movie, she has to undergo, um, completely, they reconstruct her vagina, uh, and then they, she reconstructs herself. And I think it's something that we all go through, is being like, this is who I was raised to be, how am I going to take that, And now that I'm away, or maybe coming back, how am I going to create it into the person that I actually am?
And I think that celebrating those confusing times for all of us, um, is something that we can do.
[00:13:29] Maegen Griesbeck: Yeah, yeah. I agree.
Advocacy and Resources
[00:13:32] Paige Bond, Relationship Expert: Are there any organizations that you recommend people look into to find more information? Things like that?
[00:13:37] Bonnie Gross, Writer and Executive Producer of Lady Parts: Absolutely! Um I'm always happy to, um, recommend, recommend stuff. Um, so I recently joined an advocacy group called Tight Lips.
Um, it's all patient led for vulvovaginal and pelvic pain patients, and it's all about trying to get more education, resources, everything we've basically been talking about. And, um, what's been really cool is actually we hosted an event for lady parts, and all the friendship bracelets you've been seeing people wear around the, around the festival were made by Tight Lip members from our New York chapter.
Um, we all kind of got together and Welcome new members into the community. And it was just like such a safe space for people just to have community with it. And finally maybe meet someone with the same disorder or similar that they might not have the opportunity to meet. And they're also doing amazing advocacy work.
Um, we also were really lucky to work with, um, brands on our movie, um, intimate with. Rose, uh, donated dilators and lube for us to use and they've been a wonderful support for us. Um, they've been constantly always asking for updates, supporting us throughout the process and the pelvic people, they make a lot of products for people with pelvic floor disorders and, uh, they made the Kiwi vibrator, the Ohnut, and they, they actually donated, um, five of the Kiwis for us to raffle off.
the festival. So it's been wonderful.
[00:14:55] Maegen Griesbeck: Talk a little bit about hello Gina too. Cause I think that
[00:14:57] Nancy Boyd, Writer and Director of Lady Parts: that's awesome.
[00:14:59] Bonnie Gross, Writer and Executive Producer of Lady Parts: Yes. So hello Gina is a digital online therapy, so you can do basically you buy dilators and you do this digital online therapy and you can do basically all of it from home and you get a personalized coach.
It's all online and it's very accessible because a lot of times pelvic floor therapy can be very expensive, out of network, not covered by insurance
[00:15:19] Nancy Boyd, Writer and Director of Lady Parts: and scary terrifying.
[00:15:21] Bonnie Gross, Writer and Executive Producer of Lady Parts: Yeah. Yeah, and like, what better way to do it than the comfort of your home?
[00:15:26] Paige Bond, Relationship Expert: You can put lights down low, you can set the mood a little bit, right?
You can light a candle, like.
[00:15:32] Bonnie Gross, Writer and Executive Producer of Lady Parts: Um, and yeah, it's, it's, and I, all of these are um, on our linked, um, linked in our bio of our Instagram as well, the resources. Amazing. Yeah.
[00:15:44] Cecil Stone: What's your Instagram?
[00:15:45] Bonnie Gross, Writer and Executive Producer of Lady Parts: Our Instagram is ladyparts underscore film, and we're always posting educational content, stuff about the film, so.
We'd love to interact with you on there.
[00:15:54] Paige Bond, Relationship Expert: Perfect. Anything else that you wanted to say about the film or where to find you?
Conclusion and Future Plans
[00:15:58] Paige Bond, Relationship Expert: Anything upcoming next?
[00:16:00] Maegen Griesbeck: We are currently running the festival circuit. Um, we have had an amazing time here in Florida, um, but we're really excited to take Lady Parts elsewhere. Our, like, biggest goal of this project, we've all done this before.
Because we love this project and are so passionate about the story.
So our main goal is to get this in front of as many people as possible. that goes back to education and conversation. And the, just the general de stigmatization, de stigmatization of vaginas.
[00:16:28] Nancy Boyd, Writer and Director of Lady Parts: Yes.
Grew up with Catholic guilt and shame, so now this is what I do.
This is it. Love it. Be warned.
[00:16:36] Paige Bond, Relationship Expert: Pussy power.
[00:16:37] Nancy Boyd, Writer and Director of Lady Parts: Exactly.
[00:16:38] Bonnie Gross, Writer and Executive Producer of Lady Parts: Pussy power. Yes.
[00:16:41] Paige Bond, Relationship Expert: Well, congratulations and thank you so much for making a movie like this. I think this is really going to be just a game shifter for people.
[00:16:48] Nancy Boyd, Writer and Director of Lady Parts: Thank you. We appreciate it. so much.
[00:16:52] Paige Bond, Relationship Expert: Well, that's it for now.
